You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
