My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
