He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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