omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
