I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
