i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
