is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
