I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
