5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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