kristin has been a bad kristin
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
