oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
