There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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