He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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