I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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