I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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