im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
