yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
