He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
