Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
