I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
