So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
