You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
