all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
