I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
