'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
