I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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