we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
