youre lurking in front of me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We need a shit load of segways right now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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