one might say we're banned from that church
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize