I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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