I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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