youre lurking in front of me
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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