Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
