So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
