so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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