My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
