pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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