a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
