That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
