I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
