I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
