I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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