It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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