i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
