i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize