I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
