I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
