the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
