your room smells of hookers.
And success
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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