I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
