Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
