don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
