What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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