Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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