go do what you do best...puke behind churches
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
