WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
