sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize