Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i out mim tonsoeep
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