I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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