i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
