I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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