Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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