please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
