Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Will you blow on my dice?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
