Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
