This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm passing your future prison.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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