I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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