No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
